read epub Þ Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies Hardcover Ñ jay mcgraw

reader ✓ Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies ´ Jay McGraw

reader ✓ Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies ´ Jay McGraw Iues and examples that apply to real life situations Jay doesn't just speak about the bullies he also speaks to the bullies themselves to help them change their ways Jay takes a no nonsense approach to bullying and the ways readers can handle it This timely and much needed book will be the tool kids across the country can use to stop being victims and take back the power in their live Witten using simple language and definitely suitable for a 'tween' reader When I was reading this book it felt like I was reading a letter from a knowledgeable friend The book would be best suited for shared reading between parents and their 'tweens' as it offers plenty of opportunities for heart to heart conversations

mobi Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies

read epub Þ Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies Hardcover Ñ jay mcgraw ¿ ➥ [Epub] ➟ Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies By Jay McGraw ➯ – Every day after that Danny does something to frighten CraigCraig Life Strategies PDFEPUB #182 Every day after that Danny does something to frighten CraigCraig Jay McGraw's PDFEPUBis smaller and far too scared to tell even his parents McGraw's Life Strategies Kindle #215 let alone his teachers He is miserable And every day Danny McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing ePUB #199 tries harder to make it worse On the internet on playgrounds and in schools Jay McGraw 19s 1CLife Strategies for Dealing with Bullies 1D is primarily aimed at an audience of people who are about twelve years old although he obviously intends for their parents and teachers to read it too But adult readers will not only recall experiences of their children and students being bullied but they will find themselves transported back to their own adolescence The book has the inescapable power to bring back anyone 19s emotion laden memories of being bullied bullying others or seeing others being bulliedMcGraw the son of 1CDr Phil 1D McGraw of TV and pop psychology fame does a thorough enough job of covering his topic Chapters deal with defining bullying the wide range of damage bullying does from psychological scarring to numerous cases of death often by suicide McGraw implies that murder of bullies by their victims is also a possible outcome but he does not mention a single famous instance although Columbine comes to my mind He does point out that in instances of violent retaliation by victims the bystanders get hurt as often 14or often 14than the bulliesEventually he discusses strategies for dealing with bullies but first of all he believes knowledge is indispensable There are chapters addressed to each of the roles in the bullying phenomenon victims bullies bystanders McGraw argues that there are no innocent bystanders parents and teachers Statistics back up what you might guess a lot of bullying takes place in schools although an increasing amount is starting in school but spilling onto the Internet All of the players are potentially part of the solution to the problem of bullying but it is necessary to marshal them Any one of them could start solving the problem by enlisting the help of the othersTo the victim McGraw offers the message 1CIt is not your fault 1D But that does not mean that there is nothing the victim can do about it Realizing that you do not deserve to be bullied is the necessary first step before you can tell the bully to cut it out and mean it Moreover since telling the bully to cut it out is probably not going to have the desired effect the first couple of times it is important that the target of the bullying keep telling himself that he deserves better treatment than this so that when he says 1Ccut it out 1D the tenth time he believes it as much or than he did the first time Bullying is not a onetime thing but a repeated pattern of harassment Eventually this is going to take its toll on the bully whose payoff usually lies in wearing his victim down to passive submission If that submission doesn 19t occur bullying could get to seem like work than funIf the target of the bullying enlists friends to join in complaining about the bullying the social cost to the bully can only increase This is why bullies prefer to pick on kids who have few or no friends It is also why bullies count on bystanders either just continuing to stand by or getting involved by helping the bully McGraw advises targets of bullying to work on making friends because the social dimension is the most effective deterrent McGraw relates a true story about a school in Canada where bullies picked on a boy who came to school in a pink shirt Numerous students showed solidarity with the victim by arriving the next day in pink shirts Some students even wore all pink outfits What were a small handful of bullies to do Pick on everyone in school Talk about turning 1Cfun 1D into hard workMcGraw also argues in favor of telling adults about the bullying He recognizes that this strategy reuires overcoming the unwritten law against telling tales on other kids so he argues that telling a teacher that Johnny has used a four letter word is tattling just to get Johnny in trouble but telling the teacher that Mike knocked you down and took your lunch money is not tattling 14it is a uest for justice McGraw urges students who are targeted by bullies to talk to parents teachers vice principals friends acuaintances or anyone who might be able to help He encourages bystanders to act as well Bullying is everyone 19s problem and what the author hopes to encourage is a support system for victims in order to short circuit the bullyingSome readers might wonder if McGraw 19s definition of bullying is too broad It is true that bullies come in both sexes and that bullying among girls can often be subtle and tends to rely on verbal harassment and rumor mongering but is snubbing someone or not picking someone to play on your team bullying or is it rather a correlative of it That is the kid who is not picked to be on anyone 19s team is probably also being bullied Snubbing might turn out to be part of a pattern of bullying but by itself might not necessarily be the same as bullyingMcGraw has written several books to help adolescents deal with the problems of growing up Other titles include 1CLife Strategies for Teens 1D and McGraw gives a taste of the lessons from that general book when he finds them applicable to the specific problem of bullying Each chapter ends with a summary and often a series of uestions for journal exercises There are also delightful illustrations by cartoonist Steve Bjorkman who not only captures scenes of bullying but suggests the inner experiences of both bullies and their victims McGraw uses simple language because he is addressing twelve year olds Indeed it has been suggested that bullying and other problems on the campuses of American middle schools are contributing to young people being so distracted from their studies that if McGraw were to use an even slightly elevated vocabulary than he does he would be in danger of losing his primary audience Whether this is true or not McGraw 19s conversational style makes it seem as if he dictated the entire book into a tape recorder and then typed it up without sufficient corrections The least of these are grating locutions like 1Ctry and do it 1D instead of 1Ctry to do it 1D Other aspects of his style become troubling when they attack readers 19 ability to comprehend what McGraw is trying to get acrossFor example on page 122 McGraw writes 1CSometimes kids endure bullying silently when they are better off using their brains to see if they can solve the problem by working it out directly with whoever they are having issues with 1DThere are blackboard grammarians who would take McGraw to task for various 1Csins 1D in the above passage but I won 19t suawk about the use of 1Cthey are better off 1D instead of 1Cthey would be better off 1D the use of 1Cwhoever 1D instead of 1Cwhomever 1D or even his ending a sentence with the preposition 1Cwith 1D No what gets me is the use of two 1Cwiths 1D when both of them modify the same word 1Cwhoever 1D He uses way words than he needs in order to get his meaning across This seems to prove what I have been told about the publishing industry At one time a writer who turned in a manuscript to an editor could expect some editing to be done but nowadays if a writer can 19t write he will find that his editor can 19t edit eitherOn page 90 there is an example of a worse mistake 1CIf you 19re a bully you need to change You need to figure out just what it is you think you are getting from mistreating other kids and you need to figure out how to substitute that payoff for something positive 1DNo the bully is already substituting a negative payoff for something positive This is at least the second time in this book that McGraw says the opposite of what he means It 19s precisely the kind of thing you need a good editor to find and fix In this case it could have been remedied by rewriting the passage to read 1C 26you need to replace that payoff with something positive 1DSuch ualms aside 1CLife Strategies for Dealing with Bullies 1D offers thought provoking and useful ways to look at a widespread and even dangerous social problem

Jay McGraw ´ Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies epub

Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with BulliesAcross the country thousands of elementary and middle school kids are picked on teased and harassed by bullies It's something that can jeopardize a child's development unless they have the tools to help stop bullying in its tracks In Jay McGraw's Life Strategies for Dealing with Bullies McGraw helps kids identify potentially harmful situations and deal with bullies through tips techn I have VERY mixed feelings about this book On the one hand I think Jay McGraw means well and he tries to give kids some realistic non violent ways to deal with bullying On the other hand I uestion some of his thinking and I feel like a the bulk of this book is fluffFor starters I really like the Anti Bullying Pledge for Students p 138 139 I think this can be useful especially in classrooms I also thought the chapter summaries pages that look like pages out of a notebook could be pretty helpful and I plan to use those in some lessons And I like that Chapter 9 which is about educating parents acknowledges that sometimes parents have some really bad ideas about how to deal withsolve the problem of bullying Plus I like the fact that he tells the reader that they are in control and that it really is largely up to them to react in ways that will limit the likelihood that they will become a victim of bullying But I have major issues with the way that I think Mr not Doctor Jay McGraw oversimplifies everything He seems totally obsessed with cyberbullying which I think is a problem but it's nowhere near as prevalent as he makes it sound like it is He also seems to think that just about every coming of age experience that isn't positive turns out to be bullying I'm a teacher and I see bullying and I was once a kid and I've experienced mild bullying I think a part of life is figuring out who your friends are what good friends and how you should deal with unpleasant situations NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE YOUR FRIEND And I think it's a little naive for Jay McGraw to want everyone to feel good all the time As teachers we need to build learning communities but there is something to be said for developing life skills including dealing with people who may be angry and may not want to interact with you in positive ways What is his experience with bullying anyway I mean he flat out tells you that he was never bullied in school He was friends with everybody He's Dr Phil's son but he has absolutely NO experience that makes me believe he is the teen expert that he claims to be I also uestion some of his stats On p 78 he says By the time they are 24 years old four out of 10 adults who used to be bullies will commit at least three crimes He cites NO sources and does not go on to explain what kind of crimes they commit I get really annoyed with people who make claims like this and don't back them upI also don't agree that bullying is worse than it's ever been his claim on the back cover of the book I think bullying has been around forever it's just that we've actually started to have of a national dialogue about it in recent years I think there is some value to this book and I don't mean to sound so negative about it but I think he oversimplifies certain things and then goes nuts over explaining and over rationalizing others If I was a middle schooler and I was reading this I think I'd feel pretty pessimistic not optimistic about the problem He spends the first half of the book talking about how horrible bullying is and then it seems like his solutions really aren't all that ground breaking Considering all of the build up I thought Chapter 7 Taking on Bullies was pretty weak The reality is that it's a complex problem and I'm not sure any cookie cutter solution worksI also wish he had talked at least a little bit about gangs as a form of bullying I realize he probably has little experience with inner city youth but that's a very real form of bullying that goes on in inner city communities where there is a strong culture of no snitching His examples all seem very small town ish and suburban to me So I sort of hesitate to recommend this The tone annoyed me at times and I think some kids would be turned off of it Yet I do see myself recommending this to a few kids in particular who I think are likely to have problems with bullying I do plan to use some of the chapter summaries and hopefully the Anti Bullying Pledge or some variation of it He raises a lot of important issues and I'm glad people are talking about this in a what kids can do about it kind of context